


ikigai

by scoupsberry



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Best Friends, Coffee, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-04
Updated: 2020-07-04
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:40:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25070095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scoupsberry/pseuds/scoupsberry
Summary: soonyoung's been chasing the wrong guy when all these years, the man he's looking for was just beside him all along.
Relationships: Jeon Wonwoo/Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi, Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Lee Jihoon | Woozi
Kudos: 48





	ikigai

**Author's Note:**

> \- written out of frustration but i tried :(  
> \- small caps all the way  
> \- errors ahead, i'm: sorry  
> \- enjoy? 🖤

soonyoung's been struggling with his life since heaven knows when. he's currently making some requirements that needed to be submitted today. he mentally cursed himself nth of times for forgetting his deadlines. 

the study area is jam-packed again today, some are busy while the others are just there to rest or be the boom box slash laughing stock of their friends.

his papers scattered all over the rectangular table, a sign that 'you should sit somewhere else because i'm fucking busy as you can see and i don't want any distractions' and thank heavens that no one interrupted his procrastinating ass.

he was drowning in his own world, hands were busy writing everything in his paper. not until someone placed a cup of coffee in his table. his brows formed into a thin line and click his tongue before raising his head to see the culprit who break in his momentum. 

"quit staring, i brought you coffee tss" wonwoo hissed, soonyoung's eyes sparkled when he saw his bestfriend brought his favorite coffee, now that he needed it the most to calm his system. 

"thank you wonu~" he pursed his lips, acting cutely in front of his bestfriend before sipping his favorite drink. wonwoo just rolled his eyes, which is a obviously a facade. he's trying so hard not to admit that his friend is really cute, the reason? he doesn't like soonyoung being cocky. it irritates him the most.

"so...what brings you here? did you skip class again?" soonyoung stated as a matter of fact while cleaning the pile of paper in the table. 

"you look wretched from afar, i didn't skip class dumbass. free cut" he answered lazily then stare at soonyoung who's currently stretching his arms while yawning. 

"oh" he pouted, he just wanted this day to end. he's tired, he wants to go home. 

"and excuse me? bold of you to assume i skip classes. are you talking to yourself?" wonwoo noticed the sudden shift of his mood, soonyoung must've took his banter seriously so he offered to walk soonyoung to his class and the latter didn't disagree. 

today was one of those days where soonyoung just listened to every stories he share, or is he even listening? he's not even in the right headspace to begin with. wonwoo keeps on blabbering about the game he's playing last night and he's inviting soonyoung if he could try it out but since soonyoung's mind was wandering he didn't receive an answer. 

few more steps until they reach soonyoung's room, the hallway is crowded since mostly are dismissed by their classes at that time. the noise coming from each students are echoing in the hallway, that cause for wonwoo to roll his eyes. how the hell did they even have the energy to talk after class? that will be a forever mystery for him. 

it was a flash of light, soonyoung bumped into someone. it was a strong collision, ass fall flat on the hard cement. shocked crept into his system when he saw the individual. 

it was lee jihoon. 

he instantly stood up, he can't even look straight at him. something churn in his stomach, his heart is beating triple times than the usual.

"s-sorry j-jihoon" his lips quiver as he stammer, his palms are sweaty as hell. sometimes he blame his coffee addiction for being uneasy at this worst kind scenarios. 'calm down' doesn't even belong to his vocabulary. 

"it's alright, soonyoung" then he flashed his eye dropping smile. the smile that cause for his knees to tremble, the smile that caught him off guard. in other words, soonyoung love this guy who's standing right in front of him because of his smile. that's one, and soonyoung has a long list of reasons why he fell. a 1000 word essay, font times new roman size twelve won't even justify his feelings for this man. 

jihoon bid his goodbye and tap soonyoung's shoulder, he was stuck. he doesn't know how to react, of all places, time and situation...why now? 

wonwoo poked his waist, soonyoung jolted with the sudden action. he hissed at wonwoo for ruining his train of thoughts, wonwoo continued to tease him. 

"oh so it was the crushie..." he wiggled his eyebrows.

"shut up wonwoo, leave me alone. shooo~" 

since soonyoung mood shifted again, he spare a minute or so of teasing, he leave his friend when he's satisfied pressing all his buttons. 

soonyoung happily entered the room, his face is glowing. the red stain are still visible in his ears and cheeks from the sudden interaction. as soon as the class started he also travel back down to his memory lane where he first meet lee jihoon. 

lee jihoon, an engineering student by day and a drummer by night. he's always the talk in their campus for his academic standing and his talents. he's always standing out in the crowd, his looks, those eyes that formed into a crescent moon everytime he smile, and his mole under his eye that soonyoung adore. well, that is just the tip of the iceberg. jihoon is a treasure chest, you'll love everything about him. a complete package, indeed. 

two years ago, wonwoo treat him to a bistro where jihoon and his bandmates perform after their dreading finals. the moment he land his eyes on him as he hit his drums, he knew that everything will change. 

those slow-mo effect on movies when you find the one, like he's the only one you'll see at that moment. numbers of lights are focused on him to the point he's glowing— he thought it was bullshit not until he met jihoon. 

going to that bistro becomes his habit, he's a nobody from the crowd cheering jihoon every friday night. not until last semester where he failed one of his majors, he drown his self with alcohol, drinking like a fish. 

"why are you here drinking alone?" soonyoung was surprised to see jihoon. he sat in front of him and fiddle over his drumsticks, waiting for soonyoung to respond. 

"am i dreaming?" he asked, trying to decode himself from reality. he's drinking non-stop since the gig started, and he knew alcohol hits his system terribly. he must be hallucinating. 

"what do you think?" jihoon clasp his skillful hands below his chin, checking every angle of soonyoung's face. of course he's familiar to him, he always see him during his gigs even in their university and he wonder why this pretty face is drinking to death right now. 

"you're going to be an engineer right? how about build me a house in the future? i mean i want a home not a house! can you do it for me jihoon?" jihoon raised his eyebrows, weighting his decisions if he'll ride his antics or what. soonyoung bat his eyelashes, waiting for jihoon to answer. 

"a home? i don't think i'll be able to—" soonyoung interrupted jihoon's reply. soonyoung pressed his finger towards his lips, telling jihoon to hush. 

"you know building a house is easy rather than building a home. i want to experience home again jihoon not a house, a-and eversince i saw you.. i knew that you'll be able to give me that. you felt like home, it feels like i knew you for a long time jihoon" 

jihoon was struck to soonyoung sudden confession, the latter realized it too late. soonyoung's cheeks is heating, blood is rising through his whole system...did he just confess while he's drunk? dumb soonyoung. 

"i'm just kidding, you look like you've seen a ghost" soonyoung burst into laughter while escaping the mess he made. of course he's not kidding, he's scared to be rejected. after all he's just a fan and he knows it wont escalate to something more. 

"you're drunk, i'll bring you home" jihoon felt betrayed that night, soonyoung must've been drunk so he's starting to talk gibberish. he offered him to drive him home and that night soonyoung thank the heavens for being with jihoon, even just for a while. 

the bell rang, indicating his class were finished. pulling himself back to reality again. he immediately grab his things and went outside. it's dark already, he shiver by the sudden blow of cold wind. he's walking alone and he hope that he'll be able to bump again with jihoon, even if it's impossible. 

after that embarrasing moment last semester with jihoon, he barely saw that guy. he's prolly busy juggling all his schedule and soonyoung wasn't that relevant to his life anyway. 

soonyoung is soonyoung, well he's dumb for assuming that after that incident he'll see him often. they're just acquintance, nothing more and nothing less. there's still a thick line in their bounderies.

☁️☁️☁️

final exams are just around the corner. soonyoung decided to review in his favorite café tonight, he invited wonwoo but he's busy so he declined and he said he'll just compensate next time. 

while waiting for his favorite cup of coffee, he neatly lay all his reading materials, different shades of highlighters and pens decorate the table. he started reviewing but startled when the chair in front of him was pulled by someone. 

why is he always being interrupted when he's doing his school works? 

"excuse me?" he murmur, enough for the stranger to hear. 

"yes, hello soonyoung" he instantly raised his head, surprised to see jihoon. 

"reviewing?" 

the alarm suddenly beep indicating his order is ready, "ah y-yes" he replied. 

why is he here? now he regret why did he ordered his favorite cup of coffee, it will just add fuel to his nervous ass. he doesn't want to create another mess, not now.

"why are you reviewing this early?" jihoon questioned him. exams is one week away from tonight and he didn't want to procrastinate, he don't want to failed again this time. 

"because i am not like you mr. smarty pants" he sipped his coffee, trying to hide his uneasiness. 

"i'm not that smart tho" jihoon retort, scanning soonyoung's reviewer. 

he noticed how soonyoung struggle solving some equations, cursing himself when he messed up and how frustration eats him alive. 

he help the struggling one since he's a "smarty pants" after all. 

"have you heared that saying "do your best but maybe not sometimes?" he asked after soonyoung get the right solutions to the equations. 

"i thought it was 'do your best and God will do the rest?' you're bluffing heh" soonyoung crossed his arms then rest his back for a while, waiting for jihoon to explain. 

"what i mean is don't be to hard on yourself sometimes soonyoung, look how frustrated you are while reviewing. give yourself a break" 

"easy for you to say because you haven't failed any subjects jihoon, how can i give myself a break if i will constantly just waste my time and money from failing" 

"failing is a vital role in our life soonyoung, we have our own pace. your chapter 1 might be chapter 15 to others and incase no one told you, you're doing great right now don't pressure yourself too much" 

every word he utter feels like thorns prickling on soonyoung's chest. he's right, eversince he failed he blame himself so much. he's disappointed, and hearing those words coming from someone he barely know lifted the weight he's carrying for months. 

the way jihoon can quickly erase all his worries cause him to adore him more. 

"by the way, i'll get going. good luck on your exams, watch us play on friday soonyoung" he pat soonyoung's head then bid goodbye, flashing the smile that could light up the whole town again. 

his heart raced because of the sudden invite, soonyoung assumed that night that it would lead to something more...or will not? 

☁️☁️☁️

days passed by within a blink, tonight's friday and he's currently rummaging through his closet. he can't decide what to wear, pile of clothes are visible on his floor. he wants to look good for jihoon tonight, he wants to stand out in the crowd just this once but changes his mind since he can't decide and his time is running out. he ended up wearing a skin tight ripped jeans and an oversize shirt paired with his favorite snickers. 

the place was pretty crowded tonight, most faces are familiar for him. they prolly celebrating for their finals since it's over. he sat in an empty table tor two not too far from the stage. he didn't order any alcohol tonight, he wants to cherish everything tonight while he's sober. 

soonyoung's eyes glisten when he spotted jihoon climbing to the makeshift platform. his heart is racing again while his looking intently at jihoon who's currently fixing his mic. 

"so i'll be singing tonight, uhm enjoy?" after dropping his opening statement he winked at his direction. he's now blushing, he can feel the butterflies in his stomach once again.

as he started to sing, soonyoung zoned out once again. he's like living in jihoon's world and who is he to complain right? his voice is warm, it's soothing. it easily calm his nerves, and he wonders if there's anything that jihoon can't do. jihoon earned loud cheers when he finished singing. 

"so the reason i sing that song is because i want you to meet...jeonghan" the loud cheers was deafening soonyoung, he froze on his seat. his heart break into a hundreds of pieces. he follow jihoon's gaze and it leads behind him, so all along jihoon didn't winked at him...it was for the man behind him. 

you're a fool kwon soonyoung. 

the moment jihoon went down from the stage, he directly went to jeonghan greeting and hugging the man. they look so in love at that moment and soonyoung couldn't do anything but to cry his heart out silently. 

he exit from that scene, his heart couldn't handle it anymore. he sat on the cold pavement outside the bistro, as tears stream down his face. he's angry at himself for assuming too much, that this night will be one of the greatest but it turned out the other way around. 

he wasn't prepared, he was confused by jihoon's mixed signals. he was blinded by those smile, by those sugarcoated words that he spat everytime they'll see each other. 

so why did he invited him? to rub to his face that he already have someone and a nobody like him couldn't even stand a chance? that's cruel. the fact that he didn't even started the fight yet he already lose, it crash and burn every hope in his body. 

he felt a hand gently caressing his hair, he slowly lifted his head. tears stained soonyoung's face, eyes are puffy. his nose and lips are swollen. 

"w-wonwoo..." 

"shhh, don't waste your tears on him. you deserve better soonyoung" 

wonwoo dried his tears using his thumb, it breaks wonwoo's heart even more because he couldn't do anything to take away soonyoung's pain. 

"did i told you that you look pretty when this close..." wonwoo pressed his forehead on the other, gazing at him. reading him like an open book while memorizing every edge and angle of soonyoung's face. 

soonyoung softly smack wonwoo's back. "so i'm ugly when you're far?!" soonyoung widen his eyes, threatening wonwoo to respond correctly. 

wonwoo nodded, a cue for soonyoung to laugh. both of them did, wonwoo sighed when he saw that bright smiles that light his whole world. soonyoung's laughter is like a music to his ears and he doesn't mind to rewind it over and over again. 

"how did you know i'm here?" soonyoung asked him then lay his head to his bestfriend's shoulder. 

"instincts" 

"you're lying wonwoo-ya, i can see your nose extending pfft" wonwoo twist his head to soonyoung's, which he regret in the end. their lips are inches away from each other. soonyoung's warm breath is currently fanning his lips. 

"let's go home, it's already cold" wonwoo didn't have a choice but to break their staring contest, those brown orbs that shines brightly as the stars always invite wonwoo to fall deeper and he have to save his self from falling too much. 

wonwoo offered his right hand to soonyoung, and at that moment soonyoung saw it again. how wonwoo's smile turned into slow-mo, how those lights are glowing again. showcasing wonwoo, he's an art and soonyoung is too dumb to realize that the person he's been looking for was just beside him all along. 

soonyoung sat in the shutgon seat, while wonwoo fixed his seatbelt like he always do. the latter handed him his favorite coffee once again and he never felt happier than before. 

the drive was slow and calming while day 1 by honne was blasting on the speakers. that song made soonyoung realized that wonwoo's been there since day 1, why didn't he notice it from the beginning?

wonwoo was there when the first time he scrape his knee from falling to the ground and the moment he went to the dentist, he's there when he joined different dance orgs and during his performances. he's always there to listen to his cries, rants and problems. he's always there to bring him coffee whenever he needed it the most, he's always present in every important event in soonyoung's life. he's always there to be his pillow, to cheer him up. 

why didn't he notice?

the way wonwoo stare at him like soonyoung's is his own universe, how warm his hugs is, how he pull every dad jokes just to make him smile, how he becomes talkative when he's talking to him. 

why did he only realized it now?

why did he let his heart broken for the person who will never love him from the start when wonwoo's was there all along? 

wonwoo...

wonwoo felt like home...

wonwoo was his ikigai. after all these years, he will never waste this chance. 

he'll make sure to build a home with wonwoo, with his ikigai.

**Author's Note:**

> scream at me here: https://curiouscat.qa/hozifactory


End file.
